Forced Reflection: Learning the art of Observing without Judging

I once lived in a place where power outages were constantly expected. Every time it happened, a sweet silence befell the single roomed apartment that was my abode. But this silence was short-lived as people attempted to drive away the silence and restore the noise. First, it came from Ras Kienjos house. He had a huge speaker connected to a mobile phone lookalike held together by a rubber band, the speaker was then placed facing downwards on the mouth of a clay pot. ‘Born to suffer’ the song went first, and in a short time, there was some kind of sound coming from dark rooms. It was if everyone was scared of sitting still in a quiet room. I was no exception, but for me, the sound was coming from me, as I croaked the silence away in utterly uninspiring religious tunes; story for another day. The point it, we couldn’t live with our own thoughts about ourselves, our situations. By not appreciating the wonder that is silence, we could not hear the still small voice that is wisdom. It is true what Walter Bagehot said;

“Inability to stay quiet is one of the most conspicuous failings of mankind.”

Indeed, we may have come from the Stone Age, a good move, but here we are now in the Noise age. How do we move? Ours is a time when silence is an endangered species. The human species makes every attempt to cover up the voice (and sometimes the void) of their inner world with the noise of their outer world. But that can only last for so long, then we are thrown into situations such as a hospital bed, a broken relationship, and such as force us to look back, look within, and reflect. Fast forward to 2020, in my wildest guesses, I wouldn’t have guessed that almost half of the world would be forced to STAY AT HOME, and in the name of quarantine, confront their personal situations  (and well, their spouses). So, what do we do when we are forced into a reflection mode? Here, I share one idea.

The art of observing without judging

It is okay while you stay at home to once in a while explore the thoughts in your head, and look through the clatter in your mind. It is healthy to explore where you have been, things you have done, and felt you shouldn’t have, or things you failed to do and felt you should have. It is okay to see where life has brought you, BUT, the trick is simple; EXPLORE, BUT TRY NOT TO EVALUATE. OBSERVE, AND TRY NOT TO JUDGE the various situations AS GOOD OR BAD. LIFE JUST IS. THINGS ARE JUST THE WAY THEY ARE. And ALL THINGS have a way of WORKING TOGETHER FOR GOOD. Just KNOW YOUR ANCHOR, that is, your MAIN MISSION in life. And every time you are forced to reflect and find yourself in an evaluative or judgment mode, refuse to pass any judgement to how life has been so far (she is…, he is…, it is…, life is…., my career is…,) but rather go back you your anchor, and let every experience you have had in life count, as you go on with you MAIN MISSION.  Because everything that has happened in life is what brought you HERE, exactly where the universe needed you to be TODAY, and for the best expression of your next phase in life.

However, your next level requires that you do away with labels. Yielding to the habitual flow of judgmental thoughts makes it difficult to find any peace within ourselves.

Take me BACK to the FUTURE

LIFE IS GETTING COMPLICATED. I WANT TO BE A CHILD AGAIN. I want to go back to when there were not Seven Wonders of the World, but seven million of them. When birds were a wonder, butterflies were a wonder, wild flowers were a wonder, seasonal streams were a wonder, rain, lightning and thunder were wonders which the universe served to use in triplets.  You see, childhood is where the future happened, until we grew up, and then we had a past. I want to go back to childhood purity not yet spoiled by mundane affairs. When my dreams didn’t matter in size, but in thrill. Take me back to the futuristic past, when I believed, and cared nada about the ridicule of not accomplishing the very things I said I would.

DON’T GROW UP, IT’S A TRAP! Whether you are a citizen in a first world country of a refugee in foreign country, we all had dreams as children. And what is even better is that we actually believed in the beauty of those dreams. We had the images in our imagination right, the energy right, the faith right, the zeal right, but then, we grew up, got introduced to what is ‘right’ to pursue, and all we had left, as we adulted, and ‘became more realistic’ And sometimes we only feel as shells of the amazing children we were, but there is hope.

EVERYDAY LIFE OFFERS US AN OPPORTUNITY TO PURSUE OUR AUTHENTIC DREAMS. Today offers you an opportunity to RE-MEMBER (get connected back to) and REKINDLE YOUR CHILDHOOD DREAMS, and a SENSE OF WONDER. Yes, it is time to rekindle the flames of childhood dreams that the winds of time have since blown and extinguished!

Go back to the amazing future you dreamt of as a child, before growing up trapped you!

Never take defeat seriously, except when it’s a teacher!

There is no one individual who has all the requisite knowledge, experience and wisdom to insulate them against defeat. At one point or another, defeat breaks in, even when we are not ready to open the door. And even when our faith has been strengthened, success has been expected and fully prepared for. Defeat shows up to dine with you at the very table you were waiting on victory. That is no time to quit. For TODAY’S LOSER, IS TOMORROWS WINNER!

Defeat happens when one fails to attain a goal they very much wanted. Defeat ends when we gather the courage to launch into another battle. Defeat doesn’t define, it develops.

In the wisdom of napoleon hill, when defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound. Rebound those plans and set sail once more towards your coveted goal. This time …WiSER!

CREATIVE WORK RELIES on COURSES OFFERED ONLY AT FAILURE UNIVERSITY